And I am still pregnant.
With no indications that I will ever be otherwise.
Well, I guess that isn't exactly true. I am now dilated to a four. But my doctor and I were evidently not on the same page as to when induction would be possible. Labor & Delivery can't fit me in until Friday. So unless baby girl decides to send me into labor on her own, Friday will be her birthday.
I found comfort from this distressing news in the ever loyal arms of two hours of American Idol (rather sub-par this year, if you ask me) and Sugar. Specifically sour strawberry belts, peach gummy rings, runts and licorice jelly bellies. Bless WinCo and their bulk section. Perhaps not the best diet choices for a pregnant woman. But since I was thinking I'd have sushi for dinner tonight, I really don't care.
I keep trying to remind myself that there are hundreds of millions of people throughout the world who have much worse problems than I do. Which is not reducing my self-pity and egocentrism. It is just serving to make me feel like a really bad person.
She still doesn't have a name. I'm not bothered by that at all. But others seem to be.
I didn't do my hair today. You may most definitely consider that a sign of giving up. I won't bother explain the details of my thought process as to why I do my hair for occassions such as this, but rest assured that for once it is mostly about comfort and only slightly about vanity.
I long to have my body back. To hold Dallin close on my lap when I'm reading him stories. To dance with him again. I long to cuddle up with my husband...to WANT to cuddle up with my husband, instead of being so uncomfortable I don't want to be touched! I long to eat sushi. I long to not hurt in my pelvic region everytime I move. Bladder control would also be nice. Don't worry, I'm not completely dead inside, I also long to hold my sweet baby, to see Landon with his little girl, to watch Dallin give "baby sister" a kiss. To see us begin our life as a family of four.
And with that, I think I'm going to go have some more runts. For breakfast. Judge me, I dare you. (Oh, and I also have to go to the bathroom. For literally the 5th time since I got up this morning. I'd take that as an indication that I really am lower, but frankly, I don't believe it. I'm going to be pregnant forever.)
11 comments:
Oh Heath-Jam. You have my support. I know exactly what it's like when discomfort overshadows everthing you know you should be feeling, like hope and gratitude.
Take comfort in the fact that there has never been one documented case of a woman staying pregnant forever. It will all be over soon!
Poor Heather!! Continue to eat whatever yummy treats you want and watch tv all day long. You deserve a parade for carrying the baby to your due date. And don't worry about not having a name - you'll pick one when she arrives. Good luck on Friday. And I hope for you that it comes quickly!
oh!! I am so sorry! WE are thinking about and hope baby girl will decided to introduce herself earlier than friday!
Being pregnant is terrible, especially at the end. I'll be sending labor vibes your way. It will all be worth it when you get to hold your little girl.
Hang it there! Maybe we can go get a pedicure together and they can rub your feet in that certain spot that is supposed to induce labor. I am serious, I will take you tomorrow if you want. Sending happy thoughts your way!
Heather Zac heard your sad news this morning :( So Chelsea and I talked and we are doing pedicures! Lets go tomorrow. There seriously is a certain spot near your heel that induces labor. We are going to get that baby girl out...or at least have pretty toes!
She really is visibly dropping, although she doesn't think so....it is hard for her because she was born a week early and I (her Mom) had all my children come early...but she is holding up!
I can honestly say I know how you feel. Seeing a due date come and go without a baby is HORRIBLE!!!! (Blake was 2 days late and Spencer was 6, both induced, who knows how long they would have stayed in there otherwise!) Just know it's gonna happen soon. Enjoy the time you have with your mom there! Can't wait to see the little one!
I'm sorry! I've been thinking about you today. No one should have to go past their due date. At least there is an end in sight since you know you'll have her by Friday. I can't believe you are 4 cm but not in labor. I was dying for an epidural by the time I was a 4 with Lexie. Meanwhile, indulge in all of the sugar you want. That's how I deal with my pregnancy woes, too, so I definitely won't judge you. :)
You are amazing! I can't wait to see pics of that beautiful baby girl! Enjoy these last few days with Dallin - his little world is about to get rocked.
I feel your pain Heather! I too resorted to a lot of junk and candy when my due date with Eleanor came and went. I'll keep my fingers crossed that today will be the day and you don't have to wait until tomorrow!!
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