Weary

Preparing and packing while attending to the needs of two kids has been rough.
As predicted, I cried saying goodbye after church.
Sunday night, the night before our big move, I went in at 10:30 to check on Dallin...only to find him asleep against the door so I couldn't open it. I gently pushed an inch at a time until I could squeeze through, then picked him up to take him back to his bed (well, his mattress on the floor). Then I noticed a strange smell...and discovered a large puddle of liquid by the side of his bed. My first thought was he had thrown up. I called Landon, and he came in and turned on the light, and we figured out that Dallin had found one of the unopened bottles of baby wash and dumped the whole thing out on his carpet. We took him into our bed (well, our mattress on the floor) to sleep while we cleaned it up. I spent 45 minutes trying to get as much soap as I could out of the carpet. And that's all I could do. Using carpet cleaner or water would just make it worse. And then Landon threw the old towels I had been dumping the soap on into the washing machine. Neither one of us thought to rinse them first. So the cheap machine was full of suds. Completely full. So full we were worried the machine was going to break. Then the cycle finished, and it was still full. So Landon ran it again. Same story. So we went to bed. All of us hap-hap-happily sleeping in our room. Susie got up to eat at 4:30, and while Landon burped and diapered her, I went to get the towels out and rinse them thoroughly, then start them again.
We never did get back to sleep.
We started loading the truck at 7 AM, and it was done by 8:30, thanks to the help of our families and lots of friends. Landon and his family left with the truck at 10 AM, and my family helped me finish all the cleaning. I got a little teary...or at least would have if I'd had the time...when I stood in our empty apartment one last time. Turned in our keys and hit the road at noon. Susie cried and cried and cried most of the way. But I didn't cry as I drove away. I didn't and don't really believe I'm leaving, or that I no longer have a home of my own.

* * * * *

During the moving out process, Landon ran into our next-door parking neighbor while carrying boxes we scavenged up to our apartment. They have four kids, live upstairs and down the hall from us. He too was carrying boxes, and asked Landon if we were moving. Landon said yes, and asked him the same. He said yes, and Landon asked where they were going. "A camping trailer," he said. I.e., not a mobile home trailer, but a trailer you would take camping. He told Landon they are putting all their things into storage and moving into the trailer to save some money and hopefully move on.

* * * * *

I called Landon about 10 PM to check up on his progress. I thought he would be almost to his parents' home Centerville, where he and Dallin would be spending the night. I was stopping in Twin Falls to stay at my grandma's house before finishing the trek. He was at the Traveler's Oasis, just outside of Twin Falls. The truck was dead. He'd been on the phone for an hour, trying to get through to Budget (don't ever rent from them). They said they would send out a mechanic to fix it, but if he couldn't then it would have to be towed and fixed in the morning.
They never sent a mechanic. Just a tow truck. By then, I had made it to the truck stop, so Landon's family continued onto Utah with Dallin, and he went with me and my family to my grandma's. By noon the next day, the truck was fixed (it was the starter), and Landon took off. I followed a couple hours later. He called me from Brigham City. The truck was dead. And this time, Budget (or rather some ignorant girl on a computer pretending to offer customer service) informed Landon it was his fault, he had let the gas get too low, and they would not call and/or pay anyone to tow it or fix it... My dad pulled into Brigham City and took a look at it. Jiggled the starter cable into place, and lo and behold, the truck started. (Don't ever rent from Budget.)
Landon's parents and brother met us at my parents' house to help us unload everything into my dad's extended RV garage. There were so many dents in my furniture. Pieces of my dining table missing, and still not found. My favorite flower pot shattered. It was so discouraging. But even more discouraging was knowing that we'd just have to go through it all again, relatively soon. Which also brought to light that we no longer have our own place to call home. We don't have a job. No income, no insurance. We found out just before we moved that the kids' most recent immunizations were sub-potent, so they need to get them again. We have to pay for those out of pocket now. Landon had to dive right into studying for the Bar today, no rest for him. Our room here at my parents' house is a mess, and my kids are overly tired and cranky, and Dallin has lived on a steady diet of crap for the last three days. I'm weary.

* * * * *

But no matter how hard the last few weeks have been, or how challenging the next indefinite period of time is....

I'm not moving into a camping trailer.

Which makes me feel small and ungrateful...but it's a necessary wake-up call for me right now.