And other trick questions.
This morning started off fine. I mean, Dal did get up at 6:30, which is a little early for me, but I took him back to my bed and he fell asleep for another hour...which would have been nice, but he was laying on top of me. 26 lbs of dead weight squishing my lungs. So no more sleep for me, but at least I didn't have to get out of bed! :)
I fed him breakfast, no more than the usual calamities. And then. I took him into his room to change his diaper and get him dressed.
Do you know how long it has been since he has peed on the changing table? Long enough that I don't think to prepare against it. Well, he did today. Yuck. He had a bath yesterday, and I have a ton of things to do today, so it was not bath time. And then it was. So I lifted him right off, dripping pee, and marched him into the bathroom to plop him down in the tub. Once the water was a few inches deep, I let him play...while I ran to his room real quick to mop up the pee (yes, I am a terrible mother, I left him alone for a minute). 
He started yelling, so I headed back in there to see what the problem was. Let me tell you what the problem was. He had pooped in the tub and was surrounding by chunks of feces slowly disintegrating in the water. THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THIS WEEK HE HAS POOPED IN THE TUB. So, I lifted him out (he's still not clean, mind you, and at this point is even dirtier) and stuck him on the bathroom floor all naked while I drained out the water, removed his toys (yes, poop and toys bobbing around together) and then proceeded to scoop up the poop with some TP and toss it into the toilet. All while trying not to puke. In the meantime, he heads for the overflowing laundry basket 
(today is laundry day around these parts), while I'm dumping Comet in the tub and going at it with the scrub brush. 
Rinse tub, save laundry basket from son, son into tub. Again. I wash him and drain the water out and put some clean water in for him to play in. 
Disinfect his toys with Clorox wipes and water; toss them back in the tub. 
Let him splash while I sort laundry on the bathroom floor (need something to keep him busy so I can get that done!). 
Next thing I know, Dal is gagging and coughing...and foaming at the mouth. 
He found the bar of soap left in there from my sister visiting (she left earlier this week). And he ate it. 
So bubbles were flowing (literally flowing) out of his mouth. Sure hope Costco brand "beauty bar" isn't toxic. Cleaned the bubbles off, drained the water, ran to get his towel. Came back to find that he had attacked the warm pile,
and pulled all Daddy's shirts into the tub with him. 
Got him out of the tub, endured the usual wrestling match of getting him dry and dressed
(I totally skipped the lotion today...we live in a humid place, his skin won't dry out in one day!)...and then he headed straight for the large disgusting bag of his diapers I had just pulled out of the Diaper Champ.
And then while Mommy whisked the bag off to the front door, he scurried into Mommy's office, where all kinds of delights await him.
He started yelling, so I headed back in there to see what the problem was. Let me tell you what the problem was. He had pooped in the tub and was surrounding by chunks of feces slowly disintegrating in the water. THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THIS WEEK HE HAS POOPED IN THE TUB. So, I lifted him out (he's still not clean, mind you, and at this point is even dirtier) and stuck him on the bathroom floor all naked while I drained out the water, removed his toys (yes, poop and toys bobbing around together) and then proceeded to scoop up the poop with some TP and toss it into the toilet. All while trying not to puke. In the meantime, he heads for the overflowing laundry basket (today is laundry day around these parts), while I'm dumping Comet in the tub and going at it with the scrub brush. Rinse tub, save laundry basket from son, son into tub. Again. I wash him and drain the water out and put some clean water in for him to play in. Disinfect his toys with Clorox wipes and water; toss them back in the tub. Let him splash while I sort laundry on the bathroom floor (need something to keep him busy so I can get that done!). Next thing I know, Dal is gagging and coughing...and foaming at the mouth. He found the bar of soap left in there from my sister visiting (she left earlier this week). And he ate it. So bubbles were flowing (literally flowing) out of his mouth. Sure hope Costco brand "beauty bar" isn't toxic. Cleaned the bubbles off, drained the water, ran to get his towel. Came back to find that he had attacked the warm pile, and pulled all Daddy's shirts into the tub with him. Got him out of the tub, endured the usual wrestling match of getting him dry and dressed (I totally skipped the lotion today...we live in a humid place, his skin won't dry out in one day!)...and then he headed straight for the large disgusting bag of his diapers I had just pulled out of the Diaper Champ. And then while Mommy whisked the bag off to the front door, he scurried into Mommy's office, where all kinds of delights await him.Thank heavens it's nap time now.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go shower.
12 comments:
Oh Heather! All I can say is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE in this insanity! It is normal. I know it is crazy and you feel like losing your mind, but it is normal. I hope that knowing that makes you feel at least a little bit better, because me knowing that you have days just like mine makes me feel better. My child has also taken chunks out of the soap (thought not THAT big!), peed all over the changing table, attacked laundry and the office and anything else she can get her hands on. 'Tis the life we unknowingly signed up for, huh!? But it's worth it. Dallin is so cute and when he is napping it's a little easier to remember that. So enjoy nap time, relax, take a time out for yourself!!! Love you!
Heather, I love reading your blog. Dallin is getting so big! In fact, I think he is just as big as Alec now, if not a little bigger. Crazy! Thanks for being real and reminding me that I'm not the only one who has mornings (days, or sometimes weeks) like that. Good luck with your online business! I think it rocks! Do you mind if I put a link for it on my blog?
That was so funny! Don't you wish that you could go back to when he couldn't move so you could put him somewhere and know he wouldn't get into anything?
He weighs 26 lbs? Are you kidding me? Blake only weighs 29, and he's 3!!!! :)
P.S. That story alone makes up for your lack of blogging! :)
Oh boy. I am really sorry about the soap...
I hope you had some find chocolates and a good book around. What a horrible day! Why does it seem that everything goes wrong in one day!?
P.S. I can't believe Dalin is so big! Lizzie only weighs 21 pounds. He's so cute!
Oh my gosh! I am so sorry all that happened, but I have to admit I was totally laughing out loud reading your post. Ahhh the joys of motherhood.
I have been lucky so far and haven't experienced a poop bath! That post made me tired just reading it!!
Hi Heather!! It's been forever! Sounds like your little boy is a handful! I'm sure you do a great job though! Hopefully I'll be able to relate soon. Isaiah and my adoption application just got approve so we're hoping to get a baby soon!
How did you have time to take pictures when all of that was going on?
Heather, you are so hilarious! I do feel bad, but I must admit that I was also laughing really hard at this post. Granted I don't have kids yet, so I don't know how horrible things like this are, but I love hearing about them!! :)
Wow.............
I'm not sure what else to say. Some days its a really good thing that he is so darn cute, isn't it??
You are the BEST mommy ever! Don't ever let him hear you say otherwise... even if you know that you are being a bit sarcastic, he never will. You are the BEST mommy ever. And don't you forget it!
Heather - The other night while playing BUNKO it was suggested for me to read the funny poop story. All I have to say is I was laughing so hard tears came and would not stop. I feel horrible of all you had to go through, but the way you explained it was pretty hilarious. Hope you had a great day!
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